October 20, 2011

Disney World, Day 8: Going Home

Of course the bus schedule is wrong and we just miss the bus to end up waiting a half hour for the next one. 

Of course there's a double front along the east coast and it looks like Miami is going to be a pain.

Of course it didn't matter as the flight from Orlando was coming from somewhere up north and was therefore delayed anyway.

Of course the airline rep was trying to get us on a later flight in Miami as we would miss the connection due to the delay, but did not say anything about getting us on a direct to Los Angeles flight leaving in an hour until I asked.

Of course even if we did get on that direct flight to LA it was too late for our luggage, which got to Miami and got delayed by the storm to where it was four hours behind us.

Of course the rep said the luggage would be delivered the next day and as we turned in early for the night the luggage got delivered and I had to walk out in my pajamas to get it.

Of course I am complaining over absolutely nothing and that all things considered it was a pretty painless journey home and the cats were happy and I was happy as I raided my wine fridge and began going through the backlog of shows on the DVR.

Of course, of course, of course.



October 18, 2011

Disney World, Day 7

Instead of going back to Hollywood Studios, Sun wanted to go back to Epcot, which was a good call, as we finally found Stitch and took pics with the little bugger.

We checked out the Canada Circlevision to pass the time and try to get in to Le Cellier for lunch, but apparently that's just not doable without a reservation. No small loss. We had a Moroccan lunch, visited the Innovention area to see how cool our bathroom could be, then chilled at the hotel until dinner.

Dinner was at Johnnie;s Hideaway, where our meal was comprised of escargot, stone crab bisque, cajun triggerfish, a perfectly cooked and seasoned filet mignon, and Sun's first key lime pie.

A slow, relaxed day in the midst of a rainy day, and frankly, just the right pace for our final day in Orlando.

It's time to go home.



October 17, 2011

Disney World, Day 6: Hollywood Studios

A late start found us having lunch in Downtown Disney at the Raglan Road Irish Pub and Restaurant. Then began a convoluted journey to Hollywood Studios. As there's no bus from Downtown Disney to any of the parks, we tried taking a bus over to the Swan and Boardwalk, where we were told we could walk to Hollywood Studios.

We got turned around at the Boardwalk and decided to hop on a boat. By the time we got to the park we'd spent about 45 minutes. It probably would have been easier to walk back to our hotel area and catch the shuttle there.

It's kind of trippy, walking in a park designed to glorify Hollywood. Street corners with labels like Hollywood and Vine, Sunset and Gower, and so on made me smile a twitchy smile. We caught a Hollywood movie ride whose facade hinted at Graumann's Chinese, then walked off to the back lot for a tour and stunt show. We capped the evening with the Aerosmith coaster and the Tower of Terror, catching the Beauty and the Beast Musical along the way.

Tomorrow we'll go back and finish off the rest of the park.



October 16, 2011

Disney World, Day 5: The Animal Kingdom

We made sure to get up early as the park was scheduled to close at 7pm and we had reservations at Jiko at 7:50pm. Turns out… no worries.

The Animal Kingdom was fun, but let's face it, there's just not that much to fill the day. We did the safari ride, the Everest ride and the dinosaur ride. The only Fast Pass we didn't take was the rapids ride, mostly because I didn't want to smell like mildewy water all day.

Caught the Bug's Life show and walked all of the trails at the park plus watched the parade from the Dawa Bar in Africa, and still we were done at 5pm.

We took the shuttle bus to Animal Kingdom Lodge, had a cocktail, then enjoyed a birthday dinner at Jiko, the Cooking Place. Had the piri piri chicken while Sun went for a spicy shrimp curry. We had some dessert and they gave me an birthday creme brulee as well.

The pinotage wine we had for dinner was enough to put me to sleep on the shuttle bus to Downtown Disney. The walk from there to the hotel was a bit of a trial, as I just wanted to get my clothes off and relax.

Which brings us to now, where I sit, happy yet weary, thinking that thirty-eight years is not so long, and yet quite a long time.

Happy birthday.



October 15, 2011

Disney World, Day 4: Break

Today was a day of leisure. We did take the time to finally sit down and look for a Cuban restaurant and found one in walking distance, where Sun and I chowed down on some really good plates of tilapia and pork chunks.

Then there was a nap, then a hang out by the pool along with a drink, then another nap, and dinner at Andiamo Italian Bistro at the Hilton next door.

A nice, slow relaxing day to recover from two hectic days. Tomorrow is the Animal Kingdom, and as it closes early at 7pm we plan to get there when they open at 9am. Also, we have reservations at Jiko around eight to quietly celebrate the 16th of October.



October 14, 2011

Disney World, Day 3: The Magic Kingdom

Assuming the Magic Kingdom would have quite a lot in common with Disneyland back home, we took our time getting there. Ten minutes' walk from the hotel was the Crossroads of Lake Buena Vista, a decent sized strip mall sporting chain restaurants and eateries galore. Apparently, Souplantation is called Sweet Tomatoes in the south… I have an idea about that, but I don't want it to be true. Anyhow, we had lunch at.. Sweet Tomatoes.. then caught the shuttle to the Magic Kingdom.

Or so we thought. Apparently, the shuttle took us to a parking lot where we had to catch the Monorail to get to the Magic Kingdom. Okay. Fine.

Our assumption was accurate: the Magic Kingdom has a lot in common with Disneyland (we did Pirates and Haunted Mansion… yeah… same). We went on the rides we'd never heard of (either because they're not in Disneyland or they're new attractions at both places), such as the Winnie the Pooh and Peter Pan rides. The highlights for me were Stitch's Escape, mostly because I dig Stitch, and the Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor, where through change (or because I was wearing a red shirt and therefore easy to spot in the crowd) I became part of the cast as Sulley, the mean one. I don't want to toot my own horn but I think I did a pretty good job.

We caught the Electrical Parade and even walked behind it from Main Street all the way to the end. The Hall of Presidents was trippy yet kinda cool in an educational sort of way, with animatronic presidents at the end (yes, all of them, including GWB and Obama, plus narrated by… you get one guess and you're probably right… exactly, Morgan Freeman). They even had the Enchanted Tiki Room and the Carousel of Progress, both of which I insisted on going as Sun had never seen either, plus there was still a People Mover; we didn't take it but I had a little bit of nostalgia course through me seeing that old thing rumble along above me in Tomorrow Land.

On our way back we found the Monorail line ridiculous and the ferry not so different. We same a bus area and wondered why our bus didn't have a stop there. Apparently, the fancier resorts get the prime bus area whereas our little podunk hotel's bus dropped us off at a parking lot a Monorail trip away. On the advice of a bus guide we took the shuttle to Saratoga Springs as it was next to Downtown Disney, which in turn is next to our hotel area. It was a short twenty minute walk from where we stepped off that bus to the hotel, though we detoured through the Holiday Inn for a drink (and also meandered through our hotel's lobby for another drink) before finally getting home, taking off our shoes, and settling in for the night.

Tomorrow's going to be a non-park day. Probably gonna hit the fitness center and the pool, then figure out where to go for a nice meal (let's face it, the food situation is DIRE, and don't get me started on the bars).



October 13, 2011

Disney World, Day 2: Epcot

Right before going to bed, as I finished writing up the Day 1 entry, a cockroach of tropical size (about two inches long, very dark, very thick, very roachy) meandered across the wall. I pointed it out to Sun. Bad idea. After trying to catch/kill the thing and failing miserably (where's a tsinelas when you need one?) it simply disappeared behind the TV/wardrobe closet. Sun wasn't happy, but hey, welcome to Florida.

The next morning she admitted to having a nightmare where the cockroach came home to Venice with us. I don't remember what I dreamed, I just know I had a rough night. Both of us just aren't used to soft hotel beds, I guess.

We arrived at Epcot around eleven in the morning. Upon entry I posed in front of the Spaceship Earth globe, getting up to stand on a bench as Sun snapped the pic. Getting down, I twisted my ankle. Thankfully, it didn't sprain (much). That would be truly pathetic, spraining an ankle on your first day at Disney World. Sheesh.

Spaceship Earth was fun, though the travel through time had some pretty abrupt jumps. Afterward, we grabbed a FastPass for the Test Track and walked over to Mission: SPACE. I had not checked on what exactly this ride was about. I just saw the Green line and the Orange line and thought, sure, let's do some intense astronaut training, and went to the Orange line. Twenty minutes later, Sun and I were inside what I realized was a capsule attached to a centrifuge. When the video port turned on to show a launch rail and the capsule put us on our backs, I was wondering just how nuts this was going to be. After all, there were air sickness bags within arm's reach. Then we hit 2.5G and I near lost it. At the greatest acceleration I had to open my mouth to breath and by the end of the ride I was starting to feel a little sick. Luckily, it was over and I could stumble out into fresh air and catch my breath. Whew.

We walked over to the World Showcase and while walking around the lake ate our way through the Food and Wine Festival. There were sausages and sliders and cakes and more sausages. There were also a couple of beers tossed in for good measure. By the time we'd finished it was time for the FastPass, so we went back to Future World for the Test Track, then took the slow ride at the Universe of Energy, where Ellen de Generis has a dream guided by Bill Nye the Science Guy through the Big Bang up to the present. Even more than Spaceship Earth, there's a jarring warp speed jump between dinosaurs and modern times. Afterward, we walked over to The Land and took the Living with the Land boat ride. I never thought I'd see a nine pound lemon until that ride.

We went back to the World Showcase and took the boat from Mexico to Germany. After an apple pie in the USA we caught the animatronic theatrical The American Adventure. Dinner was in France… at Chefs de France, and with a little less than two hours left, hot and tired, we found a spot between France and England facing the lake to sit and wait for the fireworks show IllumiNation. I got Sun a pint at the Rose and Crown (and Jameson on the rocks for myself) and we rested, watching the sun set, the moon rise, the torches light and the fireworks explode in the night sky.

And that was Epcot.



October 12, 2011

Disney World, Day 1

I woke up to the sound of the shower just short of three in the morning. This would normally a) be odd and b) suck, but with a 6 AM flight it was just as expected.

The cab picked Sun and me up at 4:15 and we arrived at LAX T4 fifteen minutes later. Security was a breeze, though it took me a bit longer as I opted for a pat down instead of having my skin saturated with radiation. We had a small(ish) breakfast the BK next to the gate and a little after six we were up and off to Miami.

I tried to sleep and thought I wasn't doing well but apparently I did manage to nod off as when I finally decided the attempt was futile my watch told me three hours had passed. An hour and a half of reading got me to Miami.

After checking the boards it turned out the very same gate (and probably the same plane) was to take us to Orlando, so we sat down at the closest eatery, a Caribbean-themed place with jerk chicken wings. Say no more, I'll have that.

The flight to Orlando was a short 35 minute hop that roasted the skin of the airplane so much that Sun ended up moving from the window to the aisle seat. I touched the pulled down window shade and it felt like the outside of an oven door. Toasty.

Getting the checked bag didn't take too long and we managed to get on the Lynx 111 bus just in time. An hour later found us getting off just a hundred yards from the hotel, which was a bonus as the bus stop marker on the map suggested a longer walk.

We checked in, unpacked and promptly took a nap. It was a glorious nap; much better than that pathetic neck-stiffening experience on the plane. It was eight in the evening, east coast time, when we woke. A good hour-long nap had us refreshed and open to dinner.

After a few minutes waiting for the shuttle, we decided to see how long it would take to walk to Downtown Disney. It turned out the answer was ten minutes. It probably would have taken longer by shuttle as that thing would have to stop at several other hotels after ours. Good decision.

We walked around for a bit, scanning the menus of the various sit-down places available. There was Fulton's Crab House, a steamboat facade (or is it actually a boat?); next to it an Italian place called Portobello; followed by fish 'n' chips place and Irish restaurant called Raglan Road; at the end was Pleasure island boasting a place called Paradiso 37. Paradiso got two thumbs down: one for an odd menu and another for the horrendous live singing that had us wondering if it was karaoke night (it was not). Fulton's and Raglan Road felt a bit heavy to Sun and so Portobello came out ahead.

While waiting to be seated we sat at the bar to enjoy a cocktail. Sun ordered a specialty drink from their menu and I asked for an "Americano cocktail." I specifically said cocktail as typically saying Americano is usually understood to be a caffè Americano. I'm not big on watered down espresso and I was seated at a bar. Also, the bartender nodded and went about making the drinks, so it looked like I was understood… until I got a caffè Americano. At this point we were being called to our table and Sun was seated and waiting for me to bring her the limoncello-based concoction she'd ordered. I rejected the coffee and gave her the recipe for an Americano (Campari, red vermouth, club soda). She'd used a lot of club soda, so I just had it up with a lemon twist instead of on the rocks, and it turned out okay. The next drink I just ordered a negroni.

Dinner was not too bad and it didn't break the bank. We stayed in the appetizer section, ordering a couple of salads, eggplant fries and a grande misti plate comprised of cheeses, meats, pickled vegetables and crostinos.

To walk off the meal we browsed through the Disney stores. It's odd how time passes a little differently in those stores. What should have been fifteen minutes ended up taking close to an hour. I suppose spending the time playing with Mr. Potato Head and building your own lightsaber (and unbuilding it as I wasn't going to actually buy one), trying on silly hats and taking pictures wearing them, and any number of other little time wasters you do in a kitschy souvenir shop, particularly one as big as a Disney store in Downtown Disney, Orlando would certainly explain close to an hour of time… it just didn't feel like it.

We got in a little before midnight and in the hotel lobby snagged a couple of fliers with the Disney World schedule and map. After checking the weather it looks like the best day to hit the Animal Kingdom is Sunday ("mostly sunny and nice"). Tomorrow is Epcot.   



July 24, 2011

Helsinki and Brussels 1999 Travelogue

The following is a slightly edited version of the travelogue I wrote in July 1999 relating my trip to Finland and Brussels. 

Finland, Finland, Finland
The country where I quite want to be
Your mountains so lofty
Your treetops so tall
Finland, Finland, Finland
Finland has it all

Nothing like a Monty Python song to start off this particular travelogue, especially when it's so much more funny after you've been to the place.

Where to begin, where to begin.

How about New York?

On June 14 I woke up in the PM and realized I needed to get to New York and thereafter prepare for the trip the next day that would send me over the Pond for the first time in my sorry life.

Staggering out of bed, I opened the door to my little closet and rummaged about for the green Samsonite duffel I had purloined from my sister back in 1996 the first time I went to China.

Then I remembered I had used it to stuff twenty-odd library books to return while my sister was in town with a rent-a-car.  And I remembered never taking it out of that car.

So, after three years of service, my sister had retrieved what was hers, and I was out of a duffel and in need of leaving the city in hours. [editor's note: Melissa never took the bag out of the car so it was actually lost forever.]

I hit Trailblazer on Broadway in the little bit of town that is the center of Yale's undergraduate nearby social life and purchased a duffel bag, then went home and stuffed it with a few shirts, a couple of pants, a pair of boots, boxers and socks, and the least number of toiletries I could manage.

By eveningtime I had arrived at Grand Central Station in New York City, checked my bag, and met Nisha for a bit of dinner.  A few hours later I was awake again, trudging through Park Slope in Brooklyn looking for the subway station that would lead me to the airport.

It took a few doublebacks and some switching before I got on the right train.  I got to JFK a little over thirty minutes after Kim had arrived at Terminal 8 from the red eye that left LA five hours before.  She was waiting and almost worried.

We took a cab back to Manhattan and checked her bag at GCT with mine, then went to the Carnegie Deli to share a rather monstrous Reuben sandwich which the two of us could only get down to a third its original size.

A subway ride found us in Soho, where we got an assortment of tea for Katri's grandmother from Dean and DeLuca's.  We made sure to shove in stuff like Liberty Tea and Grandma's Back Porch Lemon Tea to make it American, but couldn't help the Earl Gray and Oolong house leaves.

Then we took the subway back to GCT and retrieved my duffel and her twice-the-size-of-mine duffel.  It doesn't matter how hard I pack light, I end up carrying the heavier piece of baggage.

The shuttle service to Newark International Airport was ontime and not half-bad.  There, I put in a call to my mother, saying goodbye.  Then to Nisha, saying we might need her apartment as a place to crash on the 22nd when we got back.  Afterwards we sat at the terminal waiting to board.

The flight was Delta Airlines affiliated, but run by Sabena, a Belgian carrier since 1923.  We were wondering what it would be like.  Minutes before boarding, I remembered promising to phone Kiddie before leaving and left a note on her machine that went along the lines of, "Hey, just remembered I promised to call before leaving, whoops, we're boarding, send you a postcard, then, bye."

And then I was on the plane.

The film was "The Nephew," a British film about Ireland with Pierce Brosnan in it.  Not half bad.  Sentimental, but cute.

We hit Brussels, Belgium in the early morning.  With only an hour before our transfer, we sat in the terminal.  Kim spotted a Delveaux shop and had an orgasm.  She found a purse for her friend Alex, which was apparently a quarter of the price in the States.  I told her to stall till the return flight, since there might be time to explore the city on that layover.

The two hour flight to Helsinki was nice.  The plane was only a quarter full and we could take up as much space as we wanted.  At this point I realized three good things about Sabena: their economy seats are about an inch and a half to two inches wider than American carriers; they give you extra hot bread like anything; and the alcohol is free even in economy.

The captain mentioned we were landing, and Kim and I looked out the window.  I saw no city.  All I saw were lakes and trees.  The occasional house dotted the landscape, but that was pretty much it.  I guess the city was on the other side.

Customs was easy.  Fifteen seconds, max.

Peter, Katri's dad, picked us up and we got in this little purple-colored Ford rental and set off for Muijala, the little town about 45 minutes away from Helsinki.  I got a history and geography lesson on Finland that day.

There are no mountains in Finland.  Don't believe them Monty Python boys.

The entire landscape was made flat by glaciers of long ago, and all they've got is lakes and eskers, the edges of the glaciers – long snake-like embankments that now serve as good resources for sand and a place to put a road.

We got to this farm sitting on a good couple of acres under Katri's grandmother's deed, settled in, and realized just how nice everything was.  The weather was pristine, and the scenery was unbelievable.  I'll have pictures to show on my website soon enough.  I brought six rolls of film and used up five and a half.

Kim and I got stationed in the study, where a little couch could be laid out to make a bed.  It would be tight, but it would serve.  At least neither of us were bed hogs.  Okay, Kim is… a little.  =)

Then Peter took the two of us to the town of Lohja, where Kris, Katri, and Katri's mother were doing a bit of shopping.  We found them in a cafe, and I walked up, sat down, and told Kris it was pretty easy to spot his arse in flannel in this neck of the world.

There was a good round of patting and hugging and good-to-see-you's, even if we'd seen each other back in April for the first wedding in San Jose, California.

We all went back to the farm and Katri's cousins, Mintu and Pisku showed up.  The names accent the first syllable and the 'i's are long. Meentu and Peesku would be English phonetic.  I think I've mentioned to some that Finnish has no relationship with Scandanaivian languages and in fact is distantly related to Korean.  Well, now I have to all of you.

The young folk all got in a couple of cars and drove to Otala.  This is my guess on the spelling.  Phonetics would be Awt'halla, I suppose. It's Mintu and Pisku's family's summer house and part of the grounds where Katri's mother Leena (double vowel here is pronounced Lehhhhna) was born.

The cottage was small and next to this large lake.  A path led to a little dock and on the ground near the dock sat a rowboat and a canoe. Kris and I got in the canoe.  We displayed our unnerring lack of coordination with each other's rowing skills, but did manage to get across the lake and back with no problems.

Mintu produced a frisbee, since Katri had mentioned my recent fascination with the sport.  We tossed that about then realized two apparently basic things about Finnish countrysides: nettles and mosquitoes.

You'd think a place so high up there wouldn't have mosquitoes, but I don't think I've seen that many since I was a little boy in the Philippines in my father's hometown in Isabella.

Then Pisku intorduced Finnish baseball.  There's an odd way to pitch and bat.

Mintu comes up minutes later and mentions that the sauna is ready.

The Finnish invention does not just involve sitting in a room sweating yourself to death.  I got a firsthand bit of education sitting in there with Kris in his trunks, me in my boxers since no one had bothered to inform me to bring trunks.  Then Pisku entered in her bathing suit and shoved two scoops of water on the furnace.  I never knew my face could truly feel like it was melting off my face till that moment.

80 degrees centigrade and Kris decided it was time for the second part.

This entailed jumping in the lake.

So he jumped, and the old question of 'if he jumped, would you?' was answered by myself with a slightly delayed but very energetic yes.

We then returned to the sauna, then jumped in again, then got dressed and had barbecued pork chops for a late dinner.  It was about 10pm, I think, but Finland being up so high and the summer solstice drawing near, well, it never got truly dark – maybe a few minutes around 1am, but not really.

And that was my first day in Finland.

The second day was more relaxed.  I woke up early to go with Peter and Kris to Helsinki.  The jetlag was getting to me but I was doing all right.  Kim was still unconscious.  We were there to pick up Katri's pregnant sister Johanna, her husband Mike, and his sister Candace.  I was there because they needed to register me at the rent-a-car place so I could drive.  I am, after all, the best man.

Then Johanna wanted to go into the city for a bit.  So we did, and walked about the docks at the people's market.  There were guards all over one end since Madeline Albright was apparently visiting with the Finnish president and Russian ambassador concerning affiars down in Kosovo.

Then we returned to Muijala and there was another round of hugs and good-to-see-yous.

The afternoon found us at the church in Lohja.  Here, a 14th century church, formerly Catholic, now Lutheran (official Finnish religion, I think) stood in the center of town.  Old murals recently restored gave the place an old, authentic, and very spiritual feel.  I quite liked it.

The murals were depictions from the Bible, since commoners were not allowed to read they had the pictures in the church to tell them the timeless stories.

There were quite a few beheadings and impailings among them.

We practiced the ceremony, the minister, a young man of German descent who had come to Finland for the church, spent close to two hours chatting with Kris and Katri about their lives so he could prepare something special to say at the ceremony.  I spent the time taking pictures. [editor's note: Kim took my Stylus and also took some pictures.]

The church was surrounded by gravestones, the town cemetery growing up around the building.  On the grounds were Katri's great-grandparents and some of her grandparents.  This was her family's church.

We went for gelatto afterwards.

Mintu and Pisku showed up again in the eveningtime (which looked like 3pm) and with them was Teemo (Tehhhhmo), Mintu's boyfriend.  We four went with those three and also Johanna jumped in cars and headed back to Helsinki to catch a movie.

Would you believe I saw Life Is Beautiful in Italian subtitled in Finnish and Swedish?  Good thing I saw it before.  Johanna was busy translating important parts to Kris throughout the movie.

And that ended my second day in Finland.

The third day was Friday, the day before the confirmation or church wedding.  Again I was awake early while Kim was out like a light.  This was both by accident and by necessity.  I had been waking up at 6am regardless, but needed to get up early the day before and on this day because of my duties on Saturday.  Kim got up anyway because she wanted to come with.  So the core four, Kris, Katri, Kim, and myself, got into the car and Peter drove us again to Helsinki.

The boys needed tuxes, the girls just wanted to come along.

After the measurements, we went to have breakfast in this famous little delicatessen while the suits were being altered.  Peter then asked Katri to pick out some flowers for her mother.  Everyone had forgotten it was Peter and Leena's 32nd anniversary the day before, and he meant to remind her with flowers before she reminded herself and got in a mood.

We returned to Muijala and the flowers were presented.  A little romantic scene occurred and then we had lunch.  Then Kris, myself, and Peter went out into the forest and harvested a few birches and three enormous 6 feet by 6 feet bagfuls of birch leaves.  They were for the reception.

At 5pm we drove over to Mintu and Pisku's home where Katri's aunt and their mother, Tutte (Toot-teh) prepared refreshments.  They had prepared a bit of a pre-marriage adventure for the couple in which much of the family was going to attend.  A lot of Finns were in that house waiting.  Relatives numbering close to fifteen were smiling and beaming and definitely waiting to get on with the show.

Orienteering.

They gave the couple a map dotted with X marks and a compass and sent them off to figure it out.  We followed.  At the first X they had to assemble a pup tent together while we watched.  The second X was over a bit of cliff.  A game of trust was played, where Kris and Katri had to trust in their friends and family as they lifted them off the ground and turned them over on their long axis.  It was so much fun, Mike and Peter did it, then myself and Kuppi.  Yes, yes, we were also jeered into it and our machismo got the better of us.  Whatever.  At the third X they had to get some lake water, pull some leaves off a tree, and make some tea. Mintu's boyfriend Teemo showed us all that he was a woodsman, a scout, one of those guys.  Kim christened him 'Mountain Man.'  You have to say it with a bit of a jingle to get the idea.

Teemo taught them how to make wisp'o'whistles, or whatever the hell you call 'em.  He had three knives with him, all very well used.  Scary.

Then the party moved to another relative's house, and here, Kris, Mike, and myself got to join the Finnish men in a major sauna fest.  Naked men sweating. There was no dock at the lake so we waded in.  Prior to going in, I was on my way out of the sauna when I heard a slipping and sliding of skin – Kris skidded across the floor, hydroplaning on his sweat as his naked arse twirled frictionless towards me.  I helped him up and couldn't help grinning that wonderful grin that says, 'Glad it was not me.'

After the lake swim we pulled out some beers and went back in.  Ah, yes, beer in the sauna – fun.  Then the sauna was done with and we were out on the little porch.  A flask of Finlandia was also present, and swigs were taken to quicken to the inevitable.

Then we joined the womenfolk up at the longhouse where a barbecue was going on.  I got wonderfully plastered and Leena considered me the happiest boy in the world. [editor's note: I remember a long table filled with all varieties of food and feeding everything on my plate to the dog.]

The day of the wedding, I was up early again.  But went back to bed because I could.

Got dressed, went to the flower shop, got a wreath stuck on my lapel.

The ceremony was wonderful.  In Finnish, mostly, but wonderful.  Later I heard that what the minister said about the couple was so touching and warmfelt, everyone was deeply moved.  I stood erect in my coattails and did my small part of presenting the ring.  Again.

A family friend sang a John Denver love song in Finnish.  Trained for the opera, it was a grand, grand piece.

They walked out and people threw rice at them.  One aunt got Katri with a lump right in the nose.  Ah, those Finns.

Then we took a drive for about forty-five minutes while the guests relocated to the reception to greet them.  As best man, I drove the entire time.

We drove around the lake by Lohja and then pulled into the reception hall's driveway.  Everyone was standing outside, waving.

Then everyone filed in and lined up along the tables.  The birches were missing, they had apparently dried up and were useless.  But otherwise things looked good.

Champagne glasses were already filled, and Peter introduced my to the throng.  I stepped up to the front, held the mike, and decided the short speech I gave last time deserved some extension in Finland, land where speeches could last up to two hours or more if you wanted.  I spent ten minutes, roasting Kris only a little bit, the closest thing to risque being a memory of second year at UCLA when I said, "Katri would go over to Kris' room all the time.  She'd just show up and stay till the next… class."

Then there was the dinner, then a cake was presented to Katri's grandmother since that day was also her birthday.

There was no dancing.  Katri had caught the flu from California by way of her parents, and she had a headache and a bit of fever.

Mintu, Pisku, and their and Katri's uncle Pekka played their violins/viola, which made everyone happy.  Pisku is the youngest member of Lohja's philharmonic and intends to make it a carrer.  At 16, she's doing really, really well.

The opera singer sang again, then later sang with Marco, another trained opera singer, in a duet.  Finns love to sing… good thing they sing well.  Not at all like those asian karaokes.  =)

The cutting of the cake was the best part of the entire bit for me.

She was standing there, Kris holding her hand, when Pisku said something in Finnish.  Katri stopped before the knife was in the cake, looked bewildered, then went up to her dad and asked her a question. Then she ran back to her seat and put on her shoes, which she'd taken off as brides often do during dinnertime when no one can see under the table.

Then they were back again, and by this time Pisku had explained it to me what was going on.  I was grinning from ear to ear, my camera at the ready.

As the knife hit the bottom of the plate, cutting through the cake, Katri's leg went up and slammed down hard on the floor, making a loud firecracker noise.

The hall erupted in laughter and clapping.  I was shooting a picture. Kris looked very, very confused.

Old Finnish wedding tradition, it was explained to me. The first of the couple to stamp the floor after the cake is cut has his or her spouse under their foot. Now it was already well-known to all of us that Kris was whipped and a tamed puppy-dog.  This just made it official.

There was more singing. I spoke with Marco and learned his wife was the elder sister of the second wife to the father of Linus Torvalds, which would make it five to six degrees of separation from Linux man and myself.

Then the evening was over and there ended my fourth day in Finland.

Sunday, the fifth day, we got up late and went into Lohja to buy some toys.  I wanted a professional Sportdisc frisbee and Kris was going for a foam baseball bat.  We found the bat and messed with it for a while back at the farm.

Then we went over to Mintu and Pisku's.  Katri's aunt was going to give them a painting for a wedding gift and wanted them to pick it out of a gallery near their house.  Then we hung out with them, had some black currant juice, ice cream and waffles, and played Finnish Trivial Pursuit.

We realized just how bad we were at Finnish history and geography.  And the sports category was biased as well, with questions like 'This Finnish player joined the San Diego Sharks in 1995' et cetera et cetera.

The Americans lost.  Twice.

Not even close.

Then we went home, played baseball for a bit till around a half hour past midnight (how does anyone tell what time it is in that place!?) then went to bed.

Monday was my last full day.

We went to Helsinki by bus, and I found an Ultrastar frisbee at a sport store.  Went to all the famous parts, bought some souvenirs, then we hung out at the little park and Kris and I messed with the frisbee for a bit.

Then we went back to Muijala to have a barbecue.

It started to rain.

Kris and I were sent out to build the grill and prepare the fire.  We did this with umbrellas over our heads, wondering where everyone else was.  I decided we needed beer, so Katri and I got in the car and raced to the grocery store.

There, we ran into her aunt Tutte and Pisku.  They helped us pick out some Czech and Finnnish beers, all in 0.5L bottles, and I said goodbye and back we went to the farm.

Kris demanded a beer the instant we arrived.

The fire was nice and hot, the sausages were getting shoved on the grill, and I was getting a quick buzz out of finishing off 0.5L of 6.5% alcohol beer in under ten minutes.  Inside, Katri's mom was making steak.

Over dinner, Peter wondered how his 16-year-old god-daughter and her mother, both non-drinkers (one from age and one from whatever), knew what to pick out in the beer section of a grocery.  Katri and I shrugged, but had to admit that the selection was very, very nice.

Then there was this old episode of Magnum, P.I. on TV and I passed out at around 2am.

The sixth day in Finland – departure.

Kim and I packed, had breakfast, and Peter and Leena were to drive us to the airport.  Kim at this point had finally caught the flu Katri had caught from her parents.  It was going to be a rough flight for her. We said our goodbyes.  I said goodbye to Katri's grandmother, 90 years old and going strong.  She welcomed me back and I wished it would be soon.

I had not been as relaxed as in those five days for close to two years.

Finland, Finland, Finland,
Finland has it all.
You're so sadly neglected
And often ignored,
A poor second to Belgium,
When going abroad

Odd how I seem to be hitting the places mentioned in a Monty Python song.

We got on the plane and hit Brussels International at around 1:30pm local time.  The connecting flight was six hours from then.  We passed through customs, checked-in for our boarding passes, then hopped on the train to the city. [editor's note: we actually stumbled upon the Manneken Pis but at the time I was just laughing that it was a fountain with a statue of a pissing boy, completely missing the cultural significance of the thing!]

Brussels.

We did the streetside cafe with meal and beer, strolled through old cobblestone streets and gazed at old buildings.  We saw bits of what could only be a Chinatown, then hopped back on the train to the airport. It was a good little jaunt.

On the way back I loaded up on bread and watched 'Shakespeare in Love.' Not half bad, but still, best picture?

We got into New York a little before nine in the evening, I contacted Nisha and we were at her place in an hour.  Kim left for JFK the next morning and four hours later I was with Nisha on the subway to Manhattan.

At 11am I was on board the MetroNorth, feeling oddly out of sync.  I had bought a book at the store in GCT and bent down to read it.  An hour later, I stared up and saw the ad facing me in the train.  I thought it was very American in humor.

Then I realized where I was.

Geography shock is odd.  It felt weird being back, and as I got off the bus at the corner of Whitney and Humphrey, a hundred yards away from my computer terminal inside my apartment, everything felt odd.

For a week abroad, the change in my disposition is remarkable. Something definitely was different, though I'm sure in the coming hours it will dissipate and become something vague that I can hardly place or come to think of.

So there is that and I am done.  I need to pick up my mail at the department. I think my old used copy of This Perfect Day which I ordered from Amazon is finally in after five months on order.  That and some frisbees. Plus I need to drop off some film for developing.

Then it's time to get ready to move out again, and to make plans for the coming six months of my life.

For all my joking to Katri, I have to say, I really, really like her native country, if only because the events that brought me there and the atmosphere I encountered brought to me a state of mind I have not had for a long, long time.

There's all of it in a rather big chunk.

I'm done.



July 17, 2011

Return to Simatai

The following is an excerpt from an email I set to friends and family back in July 27, 1998. It details the second time I visited the Great Wall of China at Simatai. I have my Tita Aura to thank for saving the email (along with all the rest of them from my time in China in 1998).

So the weekend comes around and it's Simatai time.

Morning. 5am. A total of nine brave souls, students of the IUP in Beijing, gather in the lobby, ready to catch taxis to the bus station. Nine becomes eleven when we ar ejoined by Xiao Li, a seventeen year old girl who could play for the Chinese women's basketball team at the Olympics and Wang Laoshi (super dude from Taiwan).

We get to the bus station right on time and LK and I peel off to look for drivers. We find a mass of them just itchin' to grab some foreigners for the trip.

Immediately numbers are shouted.

"Thirty!"

"Twenty!" 

Suddenly, this completely ridiculous caricature of a man comes forward. He gives a thumbs up and uses it to point over and behind his right shoulder as his head cocks to the left, left eye bugging out and looking up while the right eye squints and nervously twitches downward. He snarls in Chinese, "Fifteen yuan. You can pay when we get to Simatai. Let's go!"

No one bit.

We found someone else for the same price and along with several French and British tourists we're finally on our way. Then we hit a problem. We had negotiated fifteen yuan for our group and the tourists thought they were paying the same. No, the driver disagrees. They pay thirty each.

The bus slams to a halt and they begin to negotiate. I get bored, get out of the bus and stand at the edge of the road to pee. When I finished, the tourists had managed to get the same deal and we our on our way again.

The day was cool and misty… a different sort of day from when last I was there two years ago.

We went west first, towards Jinshanling. This meant crossing that chasm of slender wall again, only this time in the opposite direction. It looked much more dangerous than I remember and for crying out loud the damn hornet's nest was still there!

Also this time, there were all these guides keeping up with us trying to sell their stuff; water, postcard, a picture book.

After a lunch of Marbu crackers ("American taste!") on the wall some of us decide to head back at Simatai with plans to look for a taxi to take us back. Others decided to keep on trekking. We tell them to hurry up as the cabs would leave and we'd be stranded. Also, some of us had plans to go to the Metro Cafe for dinner.

On the way down, Elliot and I pass this girl wearing an orange halter and white shorts. This is the first time Elliot rated a girl a 9 since I'd met him a few short weeks ago. I agreed.

At 2:45pm we're in the parking lot. LK's found two minivan taxis to seat all eleven of us for 200 yuan per cab. LK, Elliot, Glenn and I sit and wait for the rest to arrive. The HK girls show up fifteen minutes later minus Anne.

An hour passes.

LK and I come up with a poor man's bacchi ball with stones and a lousy looking circle in the dirt. Kids in the village watch and imitate. I wonder if we just started something new in the town of Simatai.

On the second hour we're wondering what in tarnation's goin' on'. The HK troop get tired of waiting and opt to go back up to the road towards the wall. 

We'd been asking people if they'd seen a red-headed white boy and two Asian girls, plus a green shirted Chinese dude that looked like he could run a marathon. Nothing.

I spot orange halter top girl. The HK girls think I'm eager to chat up a pretty girl, according to LK, who is translating for me the Cantonese they're using on the sly. I guess they're pretty cranky at this pointing waiting for Anne.

At this point the boys decide it's time to go. There are two cabs, so we're taking one. The girls get mad as they still don't want to leave without Anne.

LK, in a brilliant bit of convincing, managed to ask to use the PA system. his voice echoed off into the hills and walls. Still nothing.

It's 6pm and we figure they're either spending the night or they fell off somewhere. The latter was a joke.

The girls want to stick around another half hour. They can't believe Anne would stay up there without them. Since they had a cab waiting the boys and I leave with our cab. The fare had jumped to 300 yuan for making him wait three hours.

On the way back we nearly gave someone the Darwin award. A bus up ahead had swerved and braked like crazy, so our little minivan veered to the right to avoid hitting the bus. Right in front of us was a man running right at us with an "Oh, shit" look on his face. We missed him by inches.

We look back and see that he's bending over picking up a fish. A fish that he had dropped from his bicycle. The bicycle he had decided to leave in the middle of the road so he could run back and get his fish. The bicycle the bus had to swerve around to avoid. The bus we had to swerved the other way around to avoid.

Damn fool.

Anyhow, we got back to Beijing and managed to get to the Metro Cafe in time for a meal.

At around 11pm, Euphemia knocked on my door and told me Anne was fine. She, Wang Laoshi and Xiao Li were spending the night at a local's house as the taxis were gone. I guess they had a phone.

Apparently, they were having cornbread for dinner.

Suddenly, I don't feel so bad about leaving them.



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